As you may or may not know, I am striving to become my most authentic self (I mean, that's why I have this blog!). To me, this means knowing who I am, the things I stand for, and being myself without fear of judgment from others.
I am slowly coming to know myself through this process, which is crazy because I've lived in my own body, in my own head, for nearly thirty-one years. You'd think that I would know myself pretty well by now, and in some ways I do. I know my favorite foods are my favorites mostly because of texture and not flavor (it's why I prefer Rice Chex above all others, or rice krispy treats, or rice crackers). I know that I don't mind doing dishes. I know that I love cats. But those are basic things about me, things that my friends find out relatively easily.
I've had to do a lot of soul-searching since college. I'm not the kind of person who can learn life lessons from other people. I usually have to get out there and try something before I see it's not for me. Like in 8th grade, when I played softball. I was good at judging when to try to swing for the ball, but I was useless at everything else. Most of the time I just sat in the outfield, watching the game. I couldn't throw. I hated running. I didn't want to learn the rules. I just wanted to have fun. That attitude stayed with me through high school and my early college years. I liked learning, but I wanted to only learn things I was interested in, which meant my grades suffered terribly. I couldn't find anything that I was desperate to learn about, which led me to bounce around in different classes in different majors. If something didn't take my fancy right away, I gave up on potentially switching to that major. I felt stuck in my spiritual life too; I gave up practicing Catholicism as soon as I could, but never really found anything that I liked better. I felt lost, in need of a guide.
Little did I know that I am the perfect guide for me.
We are all the perfect guides for ourselves. Only you know what can make you feel good (by good, I don't just mean a temporary endorphin rush, I mean something that makes you feel thrilled to be alive, makes you feel in love with your life, makes you feel like acting more positively). Only you know what makes you feel alive. Maybe it's music. Maybe it's sports. If you like it, do it. If you don't like it, don't do it. To me, that is what being authentic is all about; one is true to oneself. You are living without fear of judgement (or at least with the idea that others' judgements of your actions are reflections of them, not you). I think this is the hardest thing for people to do nowadays. To live authentically is to invite judgement into your life, especially with the internet.
Slowly I started to find classes and friends that made me feel good. And not just good in an immediate kind of way. Good in a long-term, positive influence kind of way. I found others who accepted me without forcing me to behave in a certain way. I could finally admit that I really enjoyed listening to Britney Spears without the fear of being rejected. I could laugh and get really excited without feeling like no one understood. I discovered classes that I was completely in love with (medieval history, poetry, and language). Slowly I came to know more about myself.
This emotional and spiritual journey is exactly like peeling back an onion. I really think that people develop layers in order to hide their true selves from others because they have had their true selves rejected time and time again. If only we can stop others from seeing our inner layer, maybe we can stop ourselves from getting hurt. But knives can slice deeply, so we keep building up our defenses. Eventually there are so many layers that we are lost from who we once were, separated and alone. We want someone, anyone to understand us, but who better than our very own selves?
You are so capable of loving yourself, of being enough just for you. I think this is the greatest secret in life, the secret that no one ever talks about because no one ever really knows. If you love yourself, if you slowly start to peel back the painful layers, you can expose something wonderful, something bright that others had no idea existed.
Monday, February 29, 2016
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Rainy Daze
Whew. I sort of fell of the face of the earth there for a little while. Did I warn you that would happen? Winter tends to hit me pretty hard, and my fall was actually pretty busy (playing Mario Kart and Super Mario 3D world on the new Wii... among actual work) this past year. Ah well. It's coming to close on February and it's time I dragged my butt out from its squirrely hibernation. I can feel spring on the way, and it's making me super restless, especially on days like today.
Rainy days feel sleepy and slower than the bright sunny ones, and are perfect for curling up on the couch with a blanket, a book and a bottle (erm, I mean glass) of wine. Some people like rainy days. I am not one of those people.
I mean, I sure do like curling up on the couch to read. If I had a fireplace, I'd like it even more! But rain means only one thing to me; cloudy skies. Where is my sunshine? Rainy days toss me into a torporific depression. I can usually get myself moving if it's dark outside and if I have strong enough coffee (which, thanks to my tenure at a coffee chain, I know how to make perfectly strong coffee). When it starts to get lighter out, and all there is is a gray ceiling, I sink into a gray despair the exact color of the clouds, and cannot be roused from it easily.
Yesterday was a glorious day of sunshine and happiness, fifty-degree weather and playing outside with kids. I had a great day yesterday.
This might seem like a metaphor, and though it is not exactly one, I can still use it as one. See, February kind of marks a special time for me. It has been one year (ish) since I decided to quit my job at said coffee chain. It has been one year of self-discovery, of learning to listen to my inner voice, and attempting to be truly me. As you may or may not know, I decided to begin a gratitude journal in January of last year. Each night, I would write down ten things that I was grateful for, either from the day or exactly in that moment. Some things were silly and simple, like "piles of warm blankets" and "my cats purring next to me" and "grateful I don't have to wake up at 4am!" I was trying to rewire my brain. I had become stuck in a spiral of negativity and self-hate, and I was ready for a change.
It wasn't always easy. Growth is one of the hardest and most painful things to do. There are certain aspects that keep coming back around; I thought I had dealt with that issue (my self-worth), that it was solved and tucked away neatly into the corner of my mind. I'd be glad and grateful and happy and relaxed. Everything was perfect, and I knew that I was never going to feel bad ever again. Then I'd get angry or hurt or feel lacking and all the neatly bundled issues would tumble off their shelves and I'd have to sort them out again. While this gets tedious and frustrating at times, I have noticed that the more I have to put them back in place, the more I find that my issues are becoming more manageable.
It hasn't been a slow, steady upward momentum from last year either. I grew in starts and stops (mental, emotional, and spiritual growth is just as exhausting as physical growth) I am still capable of feeling just as rotten, just as angry. But I have noticed that those negative periods don't last as long. I have found ways of dealing with my emotions constructively. Most of this is only doing things that I feel necessary (ie, showering, working, feeding my cats) or things that I really want to do. For example, when I left my job today, I decided to come home and write a blog post. I really, really wanted to do this. And I feel a whole lot better even now than I did before I started writing.
Back to the rainy day metaphor. I have a lot of good days (sunny ones) which are punctuated by some negative ones (rainy days). But, (are you ready for some cheesy pie?) I have come to find out that while the clouds block the sun from me on the rainy days, the sun is still always there, smiling down at me from above the clouds. All it takes is getting into the proper mindset.
Rainy days feel sleepy and slower than the bright sunny ones, and are perfect for curling up on the couch with a blanket, a book and a bottle (erm, I mean glass) of wine. Some people like rainy days. I am not one of those people.
I mean, I sure do like curling up on the couch to read. If I had a fireplace, I'd like it even more! But rain means only one thing to me; cloudy skies. Where is my sunshine? Rainy days toss me into a torporific depression. I can usually get myself moving if it's dark outside and if I have strong enough coffee (which, thanks to my tenure at a coffee chain, I know how to make perfectly strong coffee). When it starts to get lighter out, and all there is is a gray ceiling, I sink into a gray despair the exact color of the clouds, and cannot be roused from it easily.
Yesterday was a glorious day of sunshine and happiness, fifty-degree weather and playing outside with kids. I had a great day yesterday.
This might seem like a metaphor, and though it is not exactly one, I can still use it as one. See, February kind of marks a special time for me. It has been one year (ish) since I decided to quit my job at said coffee chain. It has been one year of self-discovery, of learning to listen to my inner voice, and attempting to be truly me. As you may or may not know, I decided to begin a gratitude journal in January of last year. Each night, I would write down ten things that I was grateful for, either from the day or exactly in that moment. Some things were silly and simple, like "piles of warm blankets" and "my cats purring next to me" and "grateful I don't have to wake up at 4am!" I was trying to rewire my brain. I had become stuck in a spiral of negativity and self-hate, and I was ready for a change.
It wasn't always easy. Growth is one of the hardest and most painful things to do. There are certain aspects that keep coming back around; I thought I had dealt with that issue (my self-worth), that it was solved and tucked away neatly into the corner of my mind. I'd be glad and grateful and happy and relaxed. Everything was perfect, and I knew that I was never going to feel bad ever again. Then I'd get angry or hurt or feel lacking and all the neatly bundled issues would tumble off their shelves and I'd have to sort them out again. While this gets tedious and frustrating at times, I have noticed that the more I have to put them back in place, the more I find that my issues are becoming more manageable.
It hasn't been a slow, steady upward momentum from last year either. I grew in starts and stops (mental, emotional, and spiritual growth is just as exhausting as physical growth) I am still capable of feeling just as rotten, just as angry. But I have noticed that those negative periods don't last as long. I have found ways of dealing with my emotions constructively. Most of this is only doing things that I feel necessary (ie, showering, working, feeding my cats) or things that I really want to do. For example, when I left my job today, I decided to come home and write a blog post. I really, really wanted to do this. And I feel a whole lot better even now than I did before I started writing.
Back to the rainy day metaphor. I have a lot of good days (sunny ones) which are punctuated by some negative ones (rainy days). But, (are you ready for some cheesy pie?) I have come to find out that while the clouds block the sun from me on the rainy days, the sun is still always there, smiling down at me from above the clouds. All it takes is getting into the proper mindset.
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Self Love
Do you love yourself?
Unconditionally? Even when you're a spaz or when you make a terrible
mistake or when you hurt someone's feelings?
How many of us can truthfully
answer yes?
This is the journey that I am on
right now. A spiritual teacher suggested it. She said
the best thing that any of us can do is to practice self-love for an entire
year. Constantly ask yourself "what would someone who loves herself
do?" when faced with decisions. I decided to start on the fall
equinox, which was almost six months ago.
How's it going? I am still struggling a
little to get my intuition working. Right now it feels like my ego and my
inner child are two squabbling children who don't know how to share the
flingin, flangin chalk. It is exhausting trying to re-parent myself, to monitor
my internal mood, to try to just do things that make me happy. My ego has
been screaming out for so long that my inner child has just stopped trying.
I think it's working, though.
I have so much more confidence than
I did at the beginning of 2015. I'm starting to believe that I am
worthwhile, that I actually deserve to be happy. I know that I have a
long way to go still, to becoming the person that I deserve to be, but I
honestly cannot believe how far I have already come since January, when I decided
to practice positive thinking and gratitude. I can't even believe how far
I have come since 2012, or even 2010.
The best thing I ever did was get
out of a toxic relationship. Not a romantic relationship, although that
had its major issues as well, but a friendship. Something that can be
even harder to get out of than a boyfriend/girlfriend situation.
I think part of the healing for me
is not pretending that I am some sort of saint or martyr for putting up with
bullshit. It was not fair of her to treat me the way that she did, but I
also was not supremely innocent. The biggest step that I made in my
healing was to forgive myself for reacting the way that I did, to realize that
I hurt feelings too, to realize that yes, I allowed it to happen. I needed to
take ownership of that in order to be free.
I saw her, recently, at a mutual
friend's wedding. I had made such a huge deal about it in my brain, but
Miss Toxicity didn't even come over to say hello to me. She didn't
acknowledge my presence. Yes, I was nervous, and yes I was worried, but I
wasn't going to make a big deal about it. I got more worried about dressing up
to go see my best friend the next day than I did about that wedding, because I
realized that I don't care what Miss Toxicity thinks anymore. And that is
the most self loving thing that I could do.
Friday, December 11, 2015
Encouragement
I work with kids. I have for a really long time. While I do not have a formal education in early childhood education, I have learned some things through experience, through observation, and through research online.
I had an art program last night; my favorite program out of all that I have ever done. A friend and former co-worker came up with the idea for this program, so I can't take all the credit, but this program is brilliant. Basically, gather a bunch of art supplies. Like, anything. Odds, ends, leftovers, whatever. Set them out and let the kids have at it. They can create whatever they want.
For some children, this can be daunting. They are so used to being given instructions on how to do something that when I tell them they can make whatever they like, they look at me like, "What am I going to do?" I give suggestions, sometimes, but a lot of the time, after the initial shock, they get right down to it.
Kids are super creative, be they two or ten. They can use their imaginations like a pro, turn an old dowel rod into a wand, or a stirring spoon, or even a fishing pole (or a thousand other, more creative things). The kids who come to this art mix program love it. They always have a good time and head home with tons of smiles. I love watching them try to work out the process of how they're going to achieve building that construction paper house, or make that foam Christmas tree stand up. Sometimes they get frustrated, but there's nothing like the look on their faces when they finally figure out how to do something, when something works perfectly.
I get frustrated as an educator when children are in the process of learning, fail to do something, get upset, and then the parents rush in to make whatever the child wants, perfectly. Granted, this normally happens with very young children (toddlers, preschoolers) rather than with school-age kids, but there are signs that this happens in these kids' everyday lives (they ask me constantly to help them glue something, or wrap presents, or say, "I'm not good at this"). I understand why parents do help; no one wants to see their child get upset, frustrated, throw a tantrum, etc. But sometimes that blocks the learning process. Sometimes we have to fail in order to see how not to do something.
A lot of the time I like to take a step back, especially with the older kids (6 years and up) and just watch. If they ask me directly for help, I will talk them through, but in general I like to give minimal assistance. They learn so much more than they would if I were there doing it for them. Example; last night, a little girl built a house out of construction paper. Another little girl came up and asked me if I could show her how to do it. I told her the first little girl was a better teacher than I, because she was the one who actually made it! One little boy wanted help wrapping up his creation (like a present) and said I had to help because he "wasn't good enough." I told him I'd help hold the paper, but he had to figure out how to wrap, because how else was he going to get better than to practice?
I encouraged them along the way; there were so many creative pieces made from foam cutouts, construction paper, yarn, pine cones, boxes and beads. Every time I saw a creative use of materials, I would say, "I see you being creative!" Even if the final product wasn't perfect, or anything like I could make, why should I point out the flaws? I would rather encourage these kids to keep going. Demanding adult-standard perfection can be extremely daunting to a seven-year old (I definitely have experience with this... from the seven-year-old's point of view).
Now, I'm not saying that one should just leave children to flounder, by any means. If they are really struggling, help is obviously needed, but don't go and fold the paper for them. Try to talk them through the process, or show them an example of how it's done. And always encourage.
I had an art program last night; my favorite program out of all that I have ever done. A friend and former co-worker came up with the idea for this program, so I can't take all the credit, but this program is brilliant. Basically, gather a bunch of art supplies. Like, anything. Odds, ends, leftovers, whatever. Set them out and let the kids have at it. They can create whatever they want.
For some children, this can be daunting. They are so used to being given instructions on how to do something that when I tell them they can make whatever they like, they look at me like, "What am I going to do?" I give suggestions, sometimes, but a lot of the time, after the initial shock, they get right down to it.
Kids are super creative, be they two or ten. They can use their imaginations like a pro, turn an old dowel rod into a wand, or a stirring spoon, or even a fishing pole (or a thousand other, more creative things). The kids who come to this art mix program love it. They always have a good time and head home with tons of smiles. I love watching them try to work out the process of how they're going to achieve building that construction paper house, or make that foam Christmas tree stand up. Sometimes they get frustrated, but there's nothing like the look on their faces when they finally figure out how to do something, when something works perfectly.
I get frustrated as an educator when children are in the process of learning, fail to do something, get upset, and then the parents rush in to make whatever the child wants, perfectly. Granted, this normally happens with very young children (toddlers, preschoolers) rather than with school-age kids, but there are signs that this happens in these kids' everyday lives (they ask me constantly to help them glue something, or wrap presents, or say, "I'm not good at this"). I understand why parents do help; no one wants to see their child get upset, frustrated, throw a tantrum, etc. But sometimes that blocks the learning process. Sometimes we have to fail in order to see how not to do something.
A lot of the time I like to take a step back, especially with the older kids (6 years and up) and just watch. If they ask me directly for help, I will talk them through, but in general I like to give minimal assistance. They learn so much more than they would if I were there doing it for them. Example; last night, a little girl built a house out of construction paper. Another little girl came up and asked me if I could show her how to do it. I told her the first little girl was a better teacher than I, because she was the one who actually made it! One little boy wanted help wrapping up his creation (like a present) and said I had to help because he "wasn't good enough." I told him I'd help hold the paper, but he had to figure out how to wrap, because how else was he going to get better than to practice?
I encouraged them along the way; there were so many creative pieces made from foam cutouts, construction paper, yarn, pine cones, boxes and beads. Every time I saw a creative use of materials, I would say, "I see you being creative!" Even if the final product wasn't perfect, or anything like I could make, why should I point out the flaws? I would rather encourage these kids to keep going. Demanding adult-standard perfection can be extremely daunting to a seven-year old (I definitely have experience with this... from the seven-year-old's point of view).
Now, I'm not saying that one should just leave children to flounder, by any means. If they are really struggling, help is obviously needed, but don't go and fold the paper for them. Try to talk them through the process, or show them an example of how it's done. And always encourage.
Saturday, October 3, 2015
Failure?
It has been far too long since I wrote a blog post. I took September off because I kept thinking, "I'll write a post later," but later never really came.
To be honest, I have been lost in self-pity. I can't exactly contribute it to the weather, since the last few weeks were incredibly gorgeous; sunny and warm. I should have been outside, basking in the last of summer and the very beginning of fall. Instead, I stayed inside. The good news is that I have almost 100% completed Super Mario World 3D (World Crown is just dang hard!). So accomplished.
I have been looking for other part time jobs right now, but all the ones I have found are after school, and that is my prime programming hours for my current job, and I am not leaving unless I find a full-time job with benefits and really good pay. In the meantime, at least I am gaining experience where I am.
I'm afraid that my sunny disposition is suffering the ill effects of dwindling sunlight and excess clouds. Thankful as I am for clouds because they help the leaves turn brighter colors, I hate being separated from the sun. I am a sunflower, plain and simple. It makes me sad, and then I am upset because I am sad. Then I start thinking about all the ways that I have failed, instead of all the successes that I have had.
I have a mixed relationship with failure. Part of me follows the idealism of Peter Lafleur (the main character from the movie, Dodgeball); "I found that if you have a goal, you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed." Good point, Peter, except that I am constantly disappointed in myself anyway, for not really doing anything but skating by. The other part of me follows JK Rowling; "It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.” I have felt as though I am failing by default.
But I don't think that's entirely true. Sure, I may have settled for some things that I'm not proud of (like my 10 year "career" in food service, or a few relationships that turned out to be bad for me), but at least I learned something every time. I think that's really the point when thinking about failure; did you learn anything? Will you make a different decision next time? Oh, that last one. That's the hardest one to do. At least when you're stuck in a failure rut, you know what to expect. Potential success can be really scary. It means work, dedication, sweat, or at least giving up the video games and zoning out. It means doing things that make you discomfortable, things that make you think hard, and brings up a thousand problems that you have to face and come out on top of.
It's a hard decision to make, and a lot of people are not lucky enough like me to be able to chase their passions on a whim. I am so incredibly blessed. But I deserve to get my ass in gear and learn to apply myself. I just have to figure out how.
To be honest, I have been lost in self-pity. I can't exactly contribute it to the weather, since the last few weeks were incredibly gorgeous; sunny and warm. I should have been outside, basking in the last of summer and the very beginning of fall. Instead, I stayed inside. The good news is that I have almost 100% completed Super Mario World 3D (World Crown is just dang hard!). So accomplished.
I have been looking for other part time jobs right now, but all the ones I have found are after school, and that is my prime programming hours for my current job, and I am not leaving unless I find a full-time job with benefits and really good pay. In the meantime, at least I am gaining experience where I am.
I'm afraid that my sunny disposition is suffering the ill effects of dwindling sunlight and excess clouds. Thankful as I am for clouds because they help the leaves turn brighter colors, I hate being separated from the sun. I am a sunflower, plain and simple. It makes me sad, and then I am upset because I am sad. Then I start thinking about all the ways that I have failed, instead of all the successes that I have had.
I have a mixed relationship with failure. Part of me follows the idealism of Peter Lafleur (the main character from the movie, Dodgeball); "I found that if you have a goal, you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed." Good point, Peter, except that I am constantly disappointed in myself anyway, for not really doing anything but skating by. The other part of me follows JK Rowling; "It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.” I have felt as though I am failing by default.
But I don't think that's entirely true. Sure, I may have settled for some things that I'm not proud of (like my 10 year "career" in food service, or a few relationships that turned out to be bad for me), but at least I learned something every time. I think that's really the point when thinking about failure; did you learn anything? Will you make a different decision next time? Oh, that last one. That's the hardest one to do. At least when you're stuck in a failure rut, you know what to expect. Potential success can be really scary. It means work, dedication, sweat, or at least giving up the video games and zoning out. It means doing things that make you discomfortable, things that make you think hard, and brings up a thousand problems that you have to face and come out on top of.
It's a hard decision to make, and a lot of people are not lucky enough like me to be able to chase their passions on a whim. I am so incredibly blessed. But I deserve to get my ass in gear and learn to apply myself. I just have to figure out how.
Monday, August 31, 2015
One WEIRD TRICK to Help You WAKE UP in the Morning
We've all been there. The alarm goes off at an ungodly early hour. We slap the snooze button and try to catch a few extra z's. But then... oh no! It's been thirty minutes and now we have to rush to get ready. Wouldn't it be nice to just roll out of bed and take your time getting ready? (If the answer is no, why are you even reading this?!)
Well, I have some amazing advice for you. Much akin to the "One Tip for a Tiny Belly" and "Why Dermatologists Hate Her", this weird trick is ridiculously easy to follow.
But first, let me give you some science.
Did you know that your cells respire? Yes, every cell in your body has little tiny lungs inside of it that makes cellular respiration possible. These tiny lungs carry oxygen around in your body and help to get rid of carbon dioxide. Don't believe me? Just look up cellular respiration and you will be amazed at the things you can learn.
Your cells never stop breathing (well, they do, but we call this "death"), even when you go to sleep! Your body carries on carting oxygen and carbon dioxide, as well as waste around in your body.
Do you see where I am going with this? No? Well read on!
The waste that your body carries around comes in two forms; poop and urine. When you finally wake up in the morning, your metabolism gets a jump-start and that's why, two bites into your oatmeal, you get the urge to go to the bathroom.
The best thing that you can do the night before is to prepare yourself for the next morning. How do you do that? With this one weird trick, of course!
Instead of just going to bed with your phone, have a set bedtime. I cannot stress this enough. Bedtimes are important for everyone, not just four-year-olds. Once you are comfortable in bed, curl up with a good book and read for a while. This will help you relax into your happy, warm, sleepy times. Maybe turn on a fan for some background noise.
Then comes time for the one weird trick. Are you ready? Drink between 4 to 8 ounces of water, depending on your body. No more than twelve. Why should you do this?
Your body dehydrates overnight because you aren't drinking water, so this is not only healthy, but it helps to flush out excess toxins. Can it be tea? Certainly, as long as there is no sweetener. Can it be soda? No. Diet soda? No. Juice? No. Drink water, dammit.
Again, depending on your body and the amount of water you drink, it should take between six to eight hours to process through. And you know what that means.
Your bladder will fill up. The urge to pee should be just enough that your body lets you know but not enough to haunt your dreams. This is guaranteed to wake you up in the morning. It should be enough that you have to pee, but not so much that you have to sprint to the bathroom like the hoover dam is bursting inside of your body.
Then, because it's light outside, it should be impossible to go back to sleep. Now you have plenty of time to cook a decent breakfast, plan your work outfit, and make coffee so you don't have to stop by Starbucks even though you're already late and get pissed off in the drive through because how does it take twenty damn minutes for you to get your frigging cup of coffee and the boss is going to be breathing down your neck all damn day because of this and it's all the fault those slacker English and History majors who work at Starbucks why couldn't they get a degree in science oh because they're lazy!
Doesn't waking up to pee sound so much more relaxing than that?
I recommend a few nights of practice. Start off with 4 oz of water and increase it by two until you reach optimum morning pee level.
Do this literally right before you turn of your light to go to sleep, otherwise your body will metabolize too quickly and you will wake up in the middle of the night, which doesn't help anyone.
Yes, this one weird trick can save you up to a thousand hours of rushing around every month. Water you waiting for? Get to it!
Well, I have some amazing advice for you. Much akin to the "One Tip for a Tiny Belly" and "Why Dermatologists Hate Her", this weird trick is ridiculously easy to follow.
But first, let me give you some science.
Did you know that your cells respire? Yes, every cell in your body has little tiny lungs inside of it that makes cellular respiration possible. These tiny lungs carry oxygen around in your body and help to get rid of carbon dioxide. Don't believe me? Just look up cellular respiration and you will be amazed at the things you can learn.
Your cells never stop breathing (well, they do, but we call this "death"), even when you go to sleep! Your body carries on carting oxygen and carbon dioxide, as well as waste around in your body.
Do you see where I am going with this? No? Well read on!
The waste that your body carries around comes in two forms; poop and urine. When you finally wake up in the morning, your metabolism gets a jump-start and that's why, two bites into your oatmeal, you get the urge to go to the bathroom.
The best thing that you can do the night before is to prepare yourself for the next morning. How do you do that? With this one weird trick, of course!
Instead of just going to bed with your phone, have a set bedtime. I cannot stress this enough. Bedtimes are important for everyone, not just four-year-olds. Once you are comfortable in bed, curl up with a good book and read for a while. This will help you relax into your happy, warm, sleepy times. Maybe turn on a fan for some background noise.
Then comes time for the one weird trick. Are you ready? Drink between 4 to 8 ounces of water, depending on your body. No more than twelve. Why should you do this?
Your body dehydrates overnight because you aren't drinking water, so this is not only healthy, but it helps to flush out excess toxins. Can it be tea? Certainly, as long as there is no sweetener. Can it be soda? No. Diet soda? No. Juice? No. Drink water, dammit.
Again, depending on your body and the amount of water you drink, it should take between six to eight hours to process through. And you know what that means.
Your bladder will fill up. The urge to pee should be just enough that your body lets you know but not enough to haunt your dreams. This is guaranteed to wake you up in the morning. It should be enough that you have to pee, but not so much that you have to sprint to the bathroom like the hoover dam is bursting inside of your body.
Then, because it's light outside, it should be impossible to go back to sleep. Now you have plenty of time to cook a decent breakfast, plan your work outfit, and make coffee so you don't have to stop by Starbucks even though you're already late and get pissed off in the drive through because how does it take twenty damn minutes for you to get your frigging cup of coffee and the boss is going to be breathing down your neck all damn day because of this and it's all the fault those slacker English and History majors who work at Starbucks why couldn't they get a degree in science oh because they're lazy!
Doesn't waking up to pee sound so much more relaxing than that?
I recommend a few nights of practice. Start off with 4 oz of water and increase it by two until you reach optimum morning pee level.
Do this literally right before you turn of your light to go to sleep, otherwise your body will metabolize too quickly and you will wake up in the middle of the night, which doesn't help anyone.
Yes, this one weird trick can save you up to a thousand hours of rushing around every month. Water you waiting for? Get to it!
Saturday, August 29, 2015
The TRUTH about Isagenix
As of right now, I am an inactive member in a secret society that you may have heard of, called Isagenix.
What is that, you ask? It's this amazing nutritional system. Seriously. I tried it out in April of this year and I loved it.
If I loved it so much, why am I inactive? I'm not going to lie. It's because of the price tag.
I'm sure that my coach is probably flipping her shit right about now. I know that it's taboo to mention the price tag without using the "You plus two, them plus two" slogan. Well, if no one you know wants to join you and you are barely making bills as it is, $326 for 60 meals is just a bit pricey (especially considering that doesn't cover snacks or lunches). I'm sure that I spend way more on eating out than I ever did on the shakes. I'm sure that what I eat is not as healthy and beneficial as Isagenix. But I literally cannot make it work right now. I have a part time job that barely keeps me afloat, and I get extremely uncomfortable talking phone-to-face about these products. Everyone I have tried to pitch to knows that they're being pitched to.
And honestly, that's not me. I'm not a glossy saleswoman who could get a poor wood cutter to buy firewood. I prefer to tell the truth.
Truth is, I love the products.
I didn't at first. Because I don't drink artificial sweetener or diet sodas, the IsaLean Shakes read as way too sweet on my tongue (there's stevia extract as well as fructose that's used), and the strawberry didn't taste right unless I added in extra strawberries (which you're not supposed to do in the first 30 days, but I had to because I didn't like the strawberry powder). But it was incredibly convenient to just toss breakfast and dinner into the Vitamix and not have to think about anything but lunch and snacks. I managed to get my sugar cravings under control, which was amazing. I always crave sugar. I still craved carbs like pasta and bread, but I supplemented with quinoa and brown rice, and always made sure that I had plenty of protein during those meals too, to balance them out.
I credit the extra protein (from the whey powder) with a faster build of muscle. I didn't work out for the first week because I wanted to see how much weight and inches I could lose on diet alone. Not as much as I was expecting, if I'm honest. But Rome wasn't built in a day, so I began a three day a week running regimen. I hadn't gone for a jog in about six months, but was able to run further, faster, and longer than I had before. I managed three miles each day and my cool downs between each sprint only lasted about twenty seconds. It was amazing. I've never felt stronger.
The best part of the system is the cleansing. I would cleanse two days a week, every week if I could get away with it. Basically you're supposed to have five "shake days" between each one day cleanse and ten between each two day cleanse. A "shake day" means two shakes a day, sensible eating between meals at at lunchtime, and 100 oz of water (which is half my bodyweight in ounces of water). On cleanse days, you drink this delicious cleanse fluid instead of eating, and can take these protein wafers that help keep your blood sugar level. I never felt so clear and refreshed as on a cleanse day. They were hard, though, because my mind kept telling me to eat when I was bored, but I love a good mental challenge. I drank 100oz of water on those days as well. Talk about invigorating. I never slept so well. And the best part about the cleanse is that it's not a bowel flusher, so you don't have to make sure to stay near a restroom for the whole day.
I really really love the Ionix Supreme. It became like coffee in the morning. Because I had worked at Starbucks until I tried this system, I was thoroughly sick of coffee (I don't like Starbucks coffee; the only reason I drank it was because it was free...). It was hard to get over the flavor of it in the beginning (and the grainy texture of the powder), but once I figured out I could drink it warm, I fell in love.
I tried the protein bars once. Normally I would eat half a Cliff Builder's Protein Bar as a snack, but I found my stomach roiling after those. I felt the same way that I did when I ate too many gummy bears or twizzlers, probably because of all the concentrated sugar in those bars. But the Isagenix Isalean bars never made me feel like my blood sugar had spiked out of control. I felt smooth and normal after eating those babies. They weren't too sweet, either.
The vitamins were pretty great too. I still have a week's worth of those bad boys in my bathroom because I keep forgetting to take them. I also still have some of the IsaDelight green tea + dark chocolate bites hiding somewhere in the house, for when I start using the products again.
There's also this amazing community on Facebook. I have met so many wonderfully kind and positive people because of this system. They have your back, they answer questions, they support you no matter what. They're mostly gym rats and insanely dedicated to what they do (selling the product, using the product, being the face of the product). They demand introspection and personal growth. It's not hard to get caught up in the fever that is Isagenix.
The products promise good things, and as far as I am concerned, they deliver. Even though I lost maybe 3 pounds on the system and maybe an inch from each body part, I felt really good while on the system, and if I ever manage to snag a big girl job (that pays $40k or more a year!), I plan to get back on.
Now comes the juicy part that you've probably been waiting for; the critiques and reservations that I had. I don't plan on saying anything about the science of it; you can do your own research and make up your own mind on that. This is mostly the business aspect.
I don't like that I have to maintain an auto ship every month and spend about $200 on products in order to maintain my "active" status. To make a long story short, being active means that you are eligible to get paid for selling the product. So if you're making $200 a month in revenue from sales, you are basically pumping it back into your business, which is great if all you're trying to do is get your products paid for. I understand completely why it needs to happen (by ordering that product, you are basically reinvesting in your business, plus it keeps your website running and yadda yadda), I just don't like it, especially if you're unable to get others to sign up (like me).
Luckily, there's a team to help pull in a good portion of the revenue, but you have to build that team. That means you have to call people and talk to them and introduce them to the system. Once you get two people invested in the system, you go from being an Associate to a Consultant. (Here's my favorite Isa member to get nitty gritty about the payment system.). From there, you end up getting paid. Here's some light reading on the topic, with another nice video. It is 100% possible to make a living doing this. I have seen a lot of people start to make real money from this system. I haven't made anything yet because of my "air of desperation" when I talk to people, and that turns people off. However, the average YEARLY earning for 55% of associates is under $1000. Not horrid if you're looking to make about $20 extra a week (which, I don't know about you, but that would be so handy for me right about now).
I do like that there is no pressure on me. My coach doesn't force me to sell or anything. The team I belong to is awesome and relaxed. If this system isn't right for you, we do what's called "bless and release", which means, "It's your prerogative." They haven't jumped down my throat for going inactive, they haven't cajoled me to come back. I am free to order or not as I choose.
This is basically network marketing (or multi-level marketing). It's not a pyramid scheme, but they do use the promise of potentially becoming a millionare to lure you in. It is not something that you can sit by and idly let happen; you really need to take the reigns and find a way to talk to everyone you know and then some about this product. Eric Worre's Go Pro book and website are chock full of information if you are interested in learning more about how much effort this will take. Basically, you need to talk to 100 people in order to get 10 people to say yes. I talked to ten and didn't even get one yes. There are people who talk to a thousand people and still get no. I'm convinced it's all about learning how to talk to others in a way that doesn't make them feel pitched to.
But now comes the big thing. If you order the 30-Day System, you get:
This product is obviously aimed at middle-to-upper class people (this is why I have had so many people say no; they're in the same boat as I am). So unless you specifically target that group of people or come up with a really good way to get poorer people to sign up (and not "Do you have two friends?" cause I guarantee that they'll just say, "Yeah, but they can't afford it either."), you're probably not going to get very far.
Hopefully this was at least reasonably helpful whether you were solicited to do the business or you want to try the products or even if you just want to know what all the hype is about. Please also read the disclaimer on the Isagenix website. I know that I am biased, as I have used these products and never tried anything like Herbal Life or Shakeology, but I wanted to share my experiences with others, especially if those others think that this is going to be an easy buck to be made. It's not.
But I want you to make up your own mind. If this feels right to you, then by all means, go ahead! If you get an icky sinking feeling in your stomach, don't do it. (Yes, those are generally my guides in decision making processes).
What is that, you ask? It's this amazing nutritional system. Seriously. I tried it out in April of this year and I loved it.
If I loved it so much, why am I inactive? I'm not going to lie. It's because of the price tag.
I'm sure that my coach is probably flipping her shit right about now. I know that it's taboo to mention the price tag without using the "You plus two, them plus two" slogan. Well, if no one you know wants to join you and you are barely making bills as it is, $326 for 60 meals is just a bit pricey (especially considering that doesn't cover snacks or lunches). I'm sure that I spend way more on eating out than I ever did on the shakes. I'm sure that what I eat is not as healthy and beneficial as Isagenix. But I literally cannot make it work right now. I have a part time job that barely keeps me afloat, and I get extremely uncomfortable talking phone-to-face about these products. Everyone I have tried to pitch to knows that they're being pitched to.
And honestly, that's not me. I'm not a glossy saleswoman who could get a poor wood cutter to buy firewood. I prefer to tell the truth.
Truth is, I love the products.
I didn't at first. Because I don't drink artificial sweetener or diet sodas, the IsaLean Shakes read as way too sweet on my tongue (there's stevia extract as well as fructose that's used), and the strawberry didn't taste right unless I added in extra strawberries (which you're not supposed to do in the first 30 days, but I had to because I didn't like the strawberry powder). But it was incredibly convenient to just toss breakfast and dinner into the Vitamix and not have to think about anything but lunch and snacks. I managed to get my sugar cravings under control, which was amazing. I always crave sugar. I still craved carbs like pasta and bread, but I supplemented with quinoa and brown rice, and always made sure that I had plenty of protein during those meals too, to balance them out.
I credit the extra protein (from the whey powder) with a faster build of muscle. I didn't work out for the first week because I wanted to see how much weight and inches I could lose on diet alone. Not as much as I was expecting, if I'm honest. But Rome wasn't built in a day, so I began a three day a week running regimen. I hadn't gone for a jog in about six months, but was able to run further, faster, and longer than I had before. I managed three miles each day and my cool downs between each sprint only lasted about twenty seconds. It was amazing. I've never felt stronger.
The best part of the system is the cleansing. I would cleanse two days a week, every week if I could get away with it. Basically you're supposed to have five "shake days" between each one day cleanse and ten between each two day cleanse. A "shake day" means two shakes a day, sensible eating between meals at at lunchtime, and 100 oz of water (which is half my bodyweight in ounces of water). On cleanse days, you drink this delicious cleanse fluid instead of eating, and can take these protein wafers that help keep your blood sugar level. I never felt so clear and refreshed as on a cleanse day. They were hard, though, because my mind kept telling me to eat when I was bored, but I love a good mental challenge. I drank 100oz of water on those days as well. Talk about invigorating. I never slept so well. And the best part about the cleanse is that it's not a bowel flusher, so you don't have to make sure to stay near a restroom for the whole day.
I really really love the Ionix Supreme. It became like coffee in the morning. Because I had worked at Starbucks until I tried this system, I was thoroughly sick of coffee (I don't like Starbucks coffee; the only reason I drank it was because it was free...). It was hard to get over the flavor of it in the beginning (and the grainy texture of the powder), but once I figured out I could drink it warm, I fell in love.
I tried the protein bars once. Normally I would eat half a Cliff Builder's Protein Bar as a snack, but I found my stomach roiling after those. I felt the same way that I did when I ate too many gummy bears or twizzlers, probably because of all the concentrated sugar in those bars. But the Isagenix Isalean bars never made me feel like my blood sugar had spiked out of control. I felt smooth and normal after eating those babies. They weren't too sweet, either.
The vitamins were pretty great too. I still have a week's worth of those bad boys in my bathroom because I keep forgetting to take them. I also still have some of the IsaDelight green tea + dark chocolate bites hiding somewhere in the house, for when I start using the products again.
There's also this amazing community on Facebook. I have met so many wonderfully kind and positive people because of this system. They have your back, they answer questions, they support you no matter what. They're mostly gym rats and insanely dedicated to what they do (selling the product, using the product, being the face of the product). They demand introspection and personal growth. It's not hard to get caught up in the fever that is Isagenix.
The products promise good things, and as far as I am concerned, they deliver. Even though I lost maybe 3 pounds on the system and maybe an inch from each body part, I felt really good while on the system, and if I ever manage to snag a big girl job (that pays $40k or more a year!), I plan to get back on.
Now comes the juicy part that you've probably been waiting for; the critiques and reservations that I had. I don't plan on saying anything about the science of it; you can do your own research and make up your own mind on that. This is mostly the business aspect.
I don't like that I have to maintain an auto ship every month and spend about $200 on products in order to maintain my "active" status. To make a long story short, being active means that you are eligible to get paid for selling the product. So if you're making $200 a month in revenue from sales, you are basically pumping it back into your business, which is great if all you're trying to do is get your products paid for. I understand completely why it needs to happen (by ordering that product, you are basically reinvesting in your business, plus it keeps your website running and yadda yadda), I just don't like it, especially if you're unable to get others to sign up (like me).
Luckily, there's a team to help pull in a good portion of the revenue, but you have to build that team. That means you have to call people and talk to them and introduce them to the system. Once you get two people invested in the system, you go from being an Associate to a Consultant. (Here's my favorite Isa member to get nitty gritty about the payment system.). From there, you end up getting paid. Here's some light reading on the topic, with another nice video. It is 100% possible to make a living doing this. I have seen a lot of people start to make real money from this system. I haven't made anything yet because of my "air of desperation" when I talk to people, and that turns people off. However, the average YEARLY earning for 55% of associates is under $1000. Not horrid if you're looking to make about $20 extra a week (which, I don't know about you, but that would be so handy for me right about now).
I do like that there is no pressure on me. My coach doesn't force me to sell or anything. The team I belong to is awesome and relaxed. If this system isn't right for you, we do what's called "bless and release", which means, "It's your prerogative." They haven't jumped down my throat for going inactive, they haven't cajoled me to come back. I am free to order or not as I choose.
This is basically network marketing (or multi-level marketing). It's not a pyramid scheme, but they do use the promise of potentially becoming a millionare to lure you in. It is not something that you can sit by and idly let happen; you really need to take the reigns and find a way to talk to everyone you know and then some about this product. Eric Worre's Go Pro book and website are chock full of information if you are interested in learning more about how much effort this will take. Basically, you need to talk to 100 people in order to get 10 people to say yes. I talked to ten and didn't even get one yes. There are people who talk to a thousand people and still get no. I'm convinced it's all about learning how to talk to others in a way that doesn't make them feel pitched to.
But now comes the big thing. If you order the 30-Day System, you get:
- 4 IsaLean® Shake (4 containers of whey protein with 15 shakes in each container)
- 1 Ionix® Supreme (the cidery morning drink that is way more awesome than coffee)
- 2 Cleanse for Life® (this is the cleanse juice I mentioned)
- 1 Isagenix Snacks™ (these are the whey wafers for cleanse days)
- 1 Natural Accelerator™ (a blend of herbs and spices that help to "flush fat")
- 4 Replenish® (Sticks) (each stick makes two 8oz servings of [basically] "Gatorade")
- 1 IsaFlush!® (magnesium capsules cause this much protein has the potential to constipate even Spartacus)
- 1 Guide - 30 Day Pak w/ CD (an overview of how the system works)
This product is obviously aimed at middle-to-upper class people (this is why I have had so many people say no; they're in the same boat as I am). So unless you specifically target that group of people or come up with a really good way to get poorer people to sign up (and not "Do you have two friends?" cause I guarantee that they'll just say, "Yeah, but they can't afford it either."), you're probably not going to get very far.
Hopefully this was at least reasonably helpful whether you were solicited to do the business or you want to try the products or even if you just want to know what all the hype is about. Please also read the disclaimer on the Isagenix website. I know that I am biased, as I have used these products and never tried anything like Herbal Life or Shakeology, but I wanted to share my experiences with others, especially if those others think that this is going to be an easy buck to be made. It's not.
But I want you to make up your own mind. If this feels right to you, then by all means, go ahead! If you get an icky sinking feeling in your stomach, don't do it. (Yes, those are generally my guides in decision making processes).
*Disclaimer; all the links for the products lead to my personal Isagenix page. If you want to order something from there to try it out, go for it! However, it will not effect me in any way, since I won't get paid until I order something, and I can't do that till I start making more money.
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