Words Create Your Reality

I remember one of the best English classes that I ever had.  It was taught by an 83 year old professor, Dr. Matthews.  Despite the fact that he made us read Bartleby the Scrivener, he really helped me to understand that words create your reality.  This wasn't the first time I had heard this; I was probably 23, and I had seen "What the Bleep Do We Know" a couple years earlier.  But it was the first time that I truly understood.

A springtime picture of the college campus I went to.

He spoke about how words are expressions of thoughts, that your language and your interpretation of words defines how you think of things.  So, as an example, he told us that a friend of his never used the word "twilight" to describe what the sun was doing, because said friend thought "twilight" sounded like "toilet".  We all laughed (me especially, since I had just finished reading Breaking Dawn), but he continued to stress this point throughout class.  He basically wanted to impress upon us that metaphors and works of literature mean different things to different people based on personal experience.  Though I really resonated with the idea that words create your reality, I pretty much forgot about this lesson until just recently.

My coach told me the other day to get the word "need" out of my vocabulary.  Instead, I am to replace it with "I deserve".  I laughed because it feels weird for someone with incredibly low self-worth to be spouting off "I deserve to have a better job", or "I deserve to eat healthy today."  But then I remembered Dr. Matthews' lesson, and I started thinking about it.

What do animals (humans are animals) need to survive?  Food.  Water.  Shelter. (Sometimes) community.  And that's pretty much it.

Cats hide in boxes because they are seeking shelter.

 Those are the only things we truly need.  Everything else just enhances our journey across the earth.  Saying "I need" all the time makes it feel like our basic needs are not being met.  It feels like struggle and hardness.  It feels like desperation and lack.  And since you attract the things that you feel, saying "I need" attracts all these things.  I never, ever realized how much I said "I need".  "I need to go to the grocery store."  "I need to get over into the next lane."  "I need to stop worrying."  "I need to keep doing meditation."  Seriously.  Have your significant other or a close friend help you keep track of all the times you say "I need" in one day.  I bet it'll be more than you thought!

I decided to try replacing "I need" with "I deserve" yesterday.  Of course, it was hard to remember.  I started the day, "I need to meditate."  Then I replaced it with "I deserve to meditate."  Doesn't that make a huge difference?  Doesn't the first statement seem wishy and forlorn, whereas the second is more determined and resolute?  I couldn't believe it.  Of course, there were some points that I laughed with how ridiculous it sounded; "I deserve to get over into the next lane!"  "I deserve to go to the grocery store!"  But I also felt empowered.  I felt, for the first time, like I deserved to be the person I always dreamed about becoming.  I felt like it was possible to do all the things that turn me into "Future MJ".  I feel like I have raised my self-worth just by saying "I deserve".

Because when you deserve something, you do all the actions required to feel that way.  This is an incredibly powerful statement change.  Try it for a day and see how you feel at the end.

What things do you deserve?