Do Something You Love

I have loved Renaissance Faires ever since I went to my first one at 17 years old.  A friend of mine couldn't believe that I had never gone, and so talked me into attending with her.  We watched a mud show, a sword fighting show and a joust.  Everything was amazing, from the costumes to the shops, and even the food.  I went back nearly every year.

Now, I have two friends who regularly work faires; one is in a guild that works one specific location, and other travels around, gets to be a fairy and help decorate others with henna at different faires.  Every time they speak of their experiences, I get a pang of jealousy.  I told myself in college that I didn't have time to work and go to school and find a way to be a part of the Renaissance Faire.  I didn't have the talent or the money to acquire costumes.  I kept telling myself "I can't".

My feelings toward working at a Renaissance Faire are deeply tied into my feelings for working for a summer camp; at least for the monetary aspect.  "I can't afford it" regularly crosses through my mind.  But it has become clear to me, very clear, in the past few months, that I should not be working for money.  That is acceptable for others to do, but not for me.  I should be working for the love of something, and money will follow.  This is an incredibly hard rationale for me to make, especially with all the images and ideas toward that society throws at us.  But I've always sort of known that I would never be happy unless I was doing something that I loved.

I've never loved anything, except summer camp, like I love Renaissance Faires.  I mean, you get to step back in history for a day (except without all the gross hygiene and plague issues).  It's the best of both worlds.  Anyone can be whatever they want; princesses, noblemen, wenches, bellydancers, scullery maids, even fairies and furries.  I have loved the outfits of Renaissance faires for a long time.  Seeing others in costumes just makes me want to don long dresses and bodices and run around like a crazy person.  And every kind of costume is accepted at a Ren Faire.

So now all I have to do is convince myself that "I can."  I am a creative person, I can figure a way to design or sew my own clothes.  I can wrap my own jewelry.  I can talk to my friends about how they got started doing what they do.  If it's something I love, something I have wanted to do ever since I was a teenager, then why should I keep blocking myself from doing it?